Today is marked on some calendars as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and today I do remember my babies who never took a breath on earth but it is not the only day, I often remember them. I go through the "what ifs, and if only's" more times then a shrink would see fit. Jer and I tried for a baby for a LONG time and we had 3 babies, two pregnancies which made us over the moon with delight and were ripped apart when our babies were gone with nothing but memories of happiness and tons of ultrasound pictures.
It is said that the chance of miscarriage goes down to a very small number once the heartbeat is detected on a ultrasound, that was not the case for us, we saw our first angels heartbeat at 8weeks and then it was gone at 10 weeks (at Christmas). Our baby would have been 2 as of July 14th, he/she would be talking our ears off and doing a fine job at making his older brother angry by messing/breaking his stuff.
Our other babies were twins, a dangerous heterotopic twin pregnancy (thanks clomid), we got to watch every other day (ultrasounds) for about 3 weeks as one twin was expanding my right tube and the other "sparky" was growing, heart beating, all in the right place. It was a hard 3 weeks of watching, waiting, and planning. At the end of the 3rd week "Sparky" lost his/her spark and went to Heaven with his/her twin who had no chance snuggled inside my tube. Our twins would have turned one on September 23rd and surely be starting to walk while on the cusp of aggravating their older brothers, we miss you.
We love you, our Angels, we will meet again one day. Gone but not forgotten!
I would also like to say I am truly sorry to anyone who may be reading this that has lost a baby at any age of conception or after being born. I pray for you often and am honored that our babies are together in God's hands (I wonder if they are stealing each others paci's or pulling hair).
It is said that the chance of miscarriage goes down to a very small number once the heartbeat is detected on a ultrasound, that was not the case for us, we saw our first angels heartbeat at 8weeks and then it was gone at 10 weeks (at Christmas). Our baby would have been 2 as of July 14th, he/she would be talking our ears off and doing a fine job at making his older brother angry by messing/breaking his stuff.
Our other babies were twins, a dangerous heterotopic twin pregnancy (thanks clomid), we got to watch every other day (ultrasounds) for about 3 weeks as one twin was expanding my right tube and the other "sparky" was growing, heart beating, all in the right place. It was a hard 3 weeks of watching, waiting, and planning. At the end of the 3rd week "Sparky" lost his/her spark and went to Heaven with his/her twin who had no chance snuggled inside my tube. Our twins would have turned one on September 23rd and surely be starting to walk while on the cusp of aggravating their older brothers, we miss you.
We love you, our Angels, we will meet again one day. Gone but not forgotten!
I would also like to say I am truly sorry to anyone who may be reading this that has lost a baby at any age of conception or after being born. I pray for you often and am honored that our babies are together in God's hands (I wonder if they are stealing each others paci's or pulling hair).
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