Agony Aunt - my 1st installment

Let’s talk Google…..
Such an interesting search engine with a larger than life sense of humor, insisting on sending poor lost souls to my site in search of answers to major questions, concerns, or interests in their life.

My friend at Geohde at http://www.missionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com/ (or you can get there by clicking on her fancy "sticking it to google" button on my sidebar that is the same as the one at the top of this post) started posting how she answers the lost souls that land on her blog and called it Agony Aunt, Sticking it to Google. She has been doing this since 2007 and I will admit she gets me laughing enough to spit out morning liquids (soda, coffee, etc) at times. I can’t promise to be even a bit as witty or humorous Geohde so go to her blog and enjoy some spitting (she does use parentheses a lot and if you are as slow as I am you may need to read each post twice to get the whole picture)

Here are my responses to some of the key search words used by un-expecting googlers who landed on my blog (I guess the web address is viewed differently by google than myself)……

Big feet lady
Hey! I hope you know I resemble that statement. So, is that a description of an issue you have or what you are looking for in a women, maybe you should stalk the Wide section of your local shoe store instead of the internet, you might get luckier.

A man sleeping with a lady
Haha bad googler, I am guessing you are not getting lucky in both senses of the word, in your bedroom and by landing on my blog.

Guy who loves socks n feet
Wondering if you are the same guy as searcher #1, little strange but easy to please.

Lady in bed with 4 men
Oh what a bad girl/googler. The first thing I thought about with your search topic is WOW what size bed was she in, I want one, and u will see her soon on the Maury P.ovich show wondering who her baby daddy is and yelling “you know ma baby looks like YOU and YOU and YOU and YOU (then scream and run off the stage when Maury tells the little promiscuous procreator the results, NOT THE FATHER times 4). Wow I must be desensitized.

Perternaty leave 4men
I think you need my dictionary and google search for dummies book. As for your question, yes if you are very lucky and work for a reasonable establishment, Paternity Leave can be available, however you may want to contact your HR dept and not Google as each company has its own policy.

Photos of men super chubs thunder thighs and big bellies
Dear searcher, you obviously know what you want in a partner, similar to the guy in #1. My only advice is to go to your local mc.donalds or big and tall store, from what I see there is not a shortage of thunder thighs amongst us. *laughing on the inside*

How a lady dressup after a shower
Wow google are you sending everyone that searches for “lady” to my blog? Have no fear little perv full of questions, I have you answer but not without a few more questions.
1st is the lady married? If she is, then a bath robe or a flannel tent she calls pjs will most likely be adorned. If she is not married she will most like wear something real cute and skimpy hoping it will entice you to put that ring on her finger, then she will revert to women #1. Lastly, does she have young children? Shower, what shower? You will be lucky if she gets 2 a week, I promise you she will cloth herself with whatever material is closest and smells of only 1 days worth of marinating spit-up. I hope that did not discourage you dear googler.

How young to you have to be in gage
I have to say this is one of my favorites because two things popped in my mind rather quickly….

The very first thing I thought dear searcher is that you were talking about my son Gage and the answer is NEVER, by never I mean at least until he is 40 and even then he is still a boy so well….in 8 years or so when you are 18 you will know what I mean about that. (my blog is still rated G).

Then I had a big giggle when I figured out your real question……

1st Dear young YOUNG searcher you must be old enough to know that your question should be “how old” and not “how young”, you only use the term “how young” when you are asking a women her age on her birthday…it goes something like this. “Happy Birthday, how young are we today?”

2nd You have to know proper use of words in the right places of a simple sentence

3rd You need to be old enough to know how to spell the word engaged and that it is one word not two.
4th LOL you have to be old enough to pronounce the word Fiancé or fiancée and wise enough to support them

(am I the only one that pictured a 10 year old girl with a 12 year old boyfriend of 3 weeks who KNOWs she is in love and wants to be with him forever, after she finishes her juice box that is)